Feelings : Universal is it..just those word can branch out into so many categories of person in this world. There are straight-forward-sincere kind of person & there are straight-forward-bitch-liar kind of person. And there are those who simply lied to get their way in & out or just simply those who existed to compliment living with their own brand of attitude. In large attitude is what you accomplish along the rhythm of your life.
I found my rhythm too after all these years. I've gone through thick and thin of life. The hardest part, the cruel part, the good part, the happy part and the part when i get to say to myself " I have nothing else to regret, what i do i'll take full responsibility upon it coz in the end you can only count on yourself".
Sincerely from the bottom of my heart, i am just the straight-forward-sincere kind of person. What i said i'll do it until there's someone who sway me from it by agreeing to my term & rules. When that happened, i admit that i am just like any other human who walks on this earth. I am weak. Weak to hear promises of happiness, weak to hear the lies of a person i trusted most and too weak to push away when someone i love needed my help. I'm just that kind of person. But i'll never steal what belong to others but maybe people got it wrong when they see it from a mere perspective. Perspective created by manipulator. I hope i can be one but i'm not. My conscience is to high up on the scale to do such thing.
Whenever i choose to forgive i end up hurting even more. Know this, i never tolerate the time i'm being cheated. I was fed with lies and i believe it. Before you saying things such as, "You can get away", " You're not stupid to keep being lied and stay" and any other commentary, bear in mind whom that person is..he is the most trusted person in my life, the one i told all my secrets who i kept his as well, the one who made me feel safe for years and care for me when i'm sick. Would you distrust ur own mother, father or your brother.. the feeling is mutual..for me he's like a family..where there are no distrust exist, no perception on my attitude and certainly no barrier in feeling.
I trusted him with my all being but in the end i came to conclusion, even your own family cannot be trusted..in the end all you have is yourself.. your pain that you cannot share cause about your pride , those hurt you cannot tell cause its your responsibly you got hurt in the first place and those love who forsaken you cause they always go astray..you can't share it with anyone.. those too much pain you can only bring along with you and feel it everyday to remind you how wrong the path you have taken and this is your punishment for it.. until the end and more..