Showing posts with label Funny Stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny Stuff. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Facebook / Social Network Avatar


This is just so funny and so true.. you can't actually tell the person you saw on social network such as facebook as same as the person you met in real life. They are actually prettier/sexier or cuter in the internet world than in real life. Some more if that person is someone you knew and it will be so hilarious to see him/her doing all that cute stuff when they are not really all that..

But hey it's a fantasy and it's not wrong trying to look your best. But don't go until so extreme that when your friends tag your unplanned picture, it came out as a shock to your followers.. 

Anyway what you do is your responsibility and even as MAPOTI which come on..all of us must have done that at one time..just enjoy and don't over do it.. there's always a real world out there..he he

Friday, April 26, 2013

MAPOTI - Most Annoying People On The Internet

Just read about it on The Star today and it's kind a interesting.. and saw this awesome video for it..

Nasty beb!

Are you one of them..ha ha..

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

A Little Joke on A Fine Day - 2 + 2 + 2 = 7




Teacher: If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have?

Johnny: Seven, Sir.

Teacher: No, listen carefully. If I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you Have?

Johnny: Seven

Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2, how many will You have?

Johnny: Six.

Teacher: Good. Now if I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2,

How many will you have?

Johnny: Seven!!!

An angry Teacher: Where the in hell do you get seven from ?

Very angry Johnny: Because I've already got a cat at home!!!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Male model fronts campaign for push-up bras


It's a man..can you believe it ?

Anyway for women with A-cup size can now purchase this magnificent push up bra..ha ha..

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Funny Joke - Angel on Christmas Tree



Many have asked, “What is the reason for the angel on top of the Christmas tree?”

Once upon a time Santa was rushed to get ready for Christmas. He had told Mrs. Claus to wake him at 5 a.m. and to have his breakfast ready with a lunch to bring along. He also told the elves to have all the Christmas presents packed in the sleigh and the reindeer harnessed by 5:30.

At 5:30 the following morning Santa Claus awoke and jumped out of bed furious with Mrs. Claus for NOT waking him up on time! Santa’s mood only got worse when he realized Mrs. Claus had NOT fixed breakfast or lunch!! Santa then ran out to his sleigh only to see that the elves had NO presents packed and the reindeer were running wild in the pasture!!!

About this time a little angel walked by dragging a large Christmas tree. Santa tried to ignore since he wasn’t his jolly old self.

But, the angel spoke up and said, "Santa what should I do with this Christmas tree?"

And that is the reason for the angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Dumb Blonde With Alligator Joke

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. 
 
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" 
 
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" 
 
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. 
 
Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. 
 
Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. 
 
Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on it's back, and frustrated, shouts out, 
 
"Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

Funny Wifely Joke



The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,OKAY!

ha ha ha..i laugh like hell

Friday, November 4, 2011

Cool..

Cool huh..ha ha.. seen this on FB and well there's a lot of creative peeps out there as well as who had been slammed against the wall or being treated like s**t ,like we care what you bullies think coz here's  news for you and your cohorts..I don't wake up every day to impress you..

Mood : Replaying Adele Someone Like You ;)

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Contrary Proverbs..

Every Action has an equal and an opposite reaction? Similarly, every proverb has an equal and an opposite proverb! There always exist two sides of the same coin! You be the better judge…



All good things come to those who wait.


BUT


Time and tide wait for no man.



The pen is mightier than the sword.


BUT


Actions speak louder than words.



Wise men think alike.


BUT


Fools seldom differ.



The best things in life are free.


BUT


There's no such thing as a free (best) lunch.



Slow and steady wins the race.


BUT


Time waits for no man.




Look before you leap.


BUT


Strike while the iron is hot.



Do it well, or not at all.


BUT


Half a loaf is better than none.



Birds of a feather flock together.


BUT


Opposites attract.



Don't cross your bridges before you come to them.


BUT


Forewarned is forearmed.



Doubt is the beginning of wisdom.


BUT


Faith will move mountains.



Great starts make great finishes.


BUT


It ain't over 'till it's over.



Practice makes perfect.


BUT


All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.



Silence is golden.


BUT


The squeaky wheel gets the grease.




You're never too old to learn.


BUT


You can't teach an old dog new tricks



What's good for the goose is good for the gander.


BUT


One man's meat is another man's poison.



Absence makes the heart grow fonder.


BUT


Out of sight, out of mind.



Too many cooks spoil the broth.


BUT


Many hands make light work.



Hold fast to the words of your ancestors.


BUT


Wise men make proverbs and fools repeat them.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

How I Was Born - Really cute n funny too!!!

A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?'


The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!


Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:





Scroll down...You'll love this .....







'You got Male!

Award Joke

This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition held in Britain

Banta Singh walks into a bar in London , orders 3 glasses of beer and sits in the backyard of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.When he finishes, he comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more. 
The bartender asks him, "You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the glass; it would taste better if you buy one at a time."
Banta Singh replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Dubai , the other in Canada and I'm here in London . When they left home, we promised that we'll drink this way to remember the days when we drank together."
The bartender admits this is a nice custom and leaves it there.
Banta Singh became a regular in the bar and would always drink the same way. He'd order 3 Beers and drink them in turn.
One day, he came in and ordered only 2 Beers. All the other regulars notice and fall silent.When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bar tender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my sincere condolences on your great loss."
Banta Singh looked confused for a moment, and then he laughs.... "Oh, no,"He said, "Everyone's fine; both my brothers are alive. The only thing is . . I just quit drinking!"

P/S : For me it's not really funny..but who knows for you eh !!!

Amazing reply by J.P. Morgan CEO to a Pretty Girl - Circular Email =)

Amazing reply by J.P. Morgan CEO to a Pretty girl.

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'mvery pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500kannual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salaryof $1M is considered only as middle class in New York . My requirement isnot high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annualsalary? Are you all married?

I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden ( ? ) , $250k annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names andaddresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
Ms. Pretty
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Amazing reply:
Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls outthere who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse yoursituation as a professional investor. 
My annual income is more than $500k,which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm notwasting time here.! From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you.. 
The answer is very simple, so let me explain.Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of 'beauty'and 'money': 
Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my in come might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year.Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a 'trading position'. If the! trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted.

It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or 'leased'. Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.
Hope this reply helps ... If you are interested in 'leasing' services, do contact me ...

signed,
CEO J.P. Morgan :)
ha ha kind of funny mingle with interesting and cleverness i would say!! just like to share with u all.. xoxo

So sad, what a luck i have....

Ughhhhh (sound of me disappointed).. my Internet connection have been munch by mice.. aiyo now so hard for me to get online la like that.. and i just freaking got it couple months ago..

Fate, surely got their hand of everything..hope, is just something i hardly want to believe to.. just look how we have been giving false hope in terms of way of living, better transportation and better country. I can look, just how the economy today are affecting poor ones..even me, myself have to struggle to live until the next salary..

And i do agree sometimes that Malays are too pampered that until certain length we've been mock that we cannot live without government aid( kinda embaressing-(did i spell it right) i've been working with non-malays all these times). And who to blame....

P/S : All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on by Henry Ellis

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Play with words

This one another clever and funny things you can always get from the Internet.
Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one)!

DORMITORY, When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN, When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER, When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER

DESPERATION, When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES, When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH, When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE, When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES, When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY, When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS, When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

MOTHER-IN-LAW, When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS, When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT, When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES, When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

ELEVEN PLUS TWO, When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE

Yes! Someone with way too much free time on their hands!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Check 'Ur Temper Level Based on 'Ur Horoscope

ARIES
Nothing seems to ruffle you more than a lack of discipline, disloyalty and decorum. But Arians are also known
to go into a rage very easily when challenged. Those of you who have been on the receiving end of the Aries
temper know that if not calmed down they can even get violent. But one thing is certain if the opponent
remains calm and does not react to their outburst, Arians cool down very fast. They are also the first to
apologize, which makes them easier to forgive.

TAURUS
You are generally quiet and have control over your emotions. It is difficult to predict what will upset you, so
when you do lose your cool, people don't know how to react. Your temper is like that of a raging bull, and
anyone trying to pacify you will be the first one to get a verbal bashing. You generally get upset when you are
concerned or when people accuse you of doing something wrong. You also hate being reminded about
mistakes you've made in the past. You also have the potential to be terribly vindictive if rubbed the wrong
way.

GEMINI
You are recognized by your cheerful disposition and your jovial nature is easily susceptible to anger. In fact,
you are the best person to have around when there is an ugly scene at a party you can bring the warring
factions together quite diplomatically. But when you lose cool, you yell and scream and will not listen to
reason. You must have the last word in a wordy duel. Your capacity to argue aggressively is matched only by
your seductive charm.

CANCER
Considering how charming, caring and kind you are, you dislike unpleasant scenes, much less creating one
yourself. You have great tolerance and rarely get provoked into losing your temper. If someone is
unreasonable or trying to create trouble, you are more likely to walk away quietly. But that does not mean you
do not have a temper. When angry, in your effort to control your emotions, you tremble, your hands get
sweaty and sometimes you fumble for words. Tears roll down your eyes easily and the opponent is touched
by your innocence and will seek an apology immediately.

LEO
If anyone has total control over their emotions, it is you. But then, you can be described as stiff, cold and
uncaring. You are known to lack spontaneity but you really don't care about opinions. You don't like to create
scenes and will never accept invitations to a party where you suspect the presence of an unruly lot. But your
very presence seems challenging to some and they take vicarious pleasure in your disquiet. When angry you
can use critical language. A dressing down can humiliate your opponent, causing a strain between both of
you forever.

VIRGO
Most of you are gentle and have full control over your emotions but those of you given to temper tantrums
can certainly get violent. When see things with rage, you yell and shout and tend to break things lying close
at hand. You can even harm yourself by banging your hands on a glass top table or wall. You should never
get into any argument, for you are a sore loser. You feel that others are trying to persecute you and don't
quite respect your opinions. When hurt, you can also hold grudges forever.

LIBRA
Did someone say that you are the charmers of the zodiac? Well, it's true. Few have ever seen you ruffled or
angry. You are very conscious of your image, and you believe that anger distorts your face and personality.
You also think you are above things like anger. But wait before you get into self-congratulatory mood. Your
family or those very close to you know you better. You have an unmatched temper amongst all the zodiac
signs, and what makes it worse is your capacity to justify it.

SCORPIO
Of course you don't lose your cool. But your very demeanor (manner) projects haughtiness (arrogance,
pride), pride and grand disdain (disregard) for lesser mortals (human). Others are often found saying that
anger sits on your nose and you are raring to give your piece mind to the first person who try to be funny with
you. You are selective in the choice of your friends, and have a low tolerance for the superfluous (extra)
types. Your tongue-lashing (attack) is generally in a soft hissing tone for when you scream, your voice tends
to get shrill and loud and you do hate drawing attention to yourself! When upset, you are angrier with yourself
for having shown weakness, for the last thing that Scorpio wants to show is being out of control.

SAGITTARIUS
You are insensible and generally have no complete control over your emotions. You do get angry quickly and
others marvel at your anger levels even when provoked. Actually, you get tongue-tied when angry and you
will remove your anger waiting for the other person to calm down. Then you will reason with your opponent
and convince the other person in a very gentle manner that the whole thing was just his mistake. You're also
likely to totally sever ties with someone when you're upset with them.

CAPRICORN
Few will believe that a hardcore practical and materialistic person like you is capable of sensitivity and
genuine emotions. You project a hard exterior but are actually very sensitive, a trait you successfully hide
from others. You can see thing with anger but will not betray your feelings. But then, there are times that even
you cannot control your temper. Under such circumstances you can shout and scream, more with frustration
at the situation than with anger at any particular person. Your outbursts can shock others and can make them
feel guilty too.

AQUARIUS
You are noble and kind and dislike losing control over your emotions. It is very rare for you to get angry. You
are also the pacifier in situations that involve arguments. It is always your endeavor to be perfect and socially
correct in your behavior and attitude, but if misunderstood and slighted you can give in to an angry outburst.
You will shout and scream and then walk out from the scene. You cannot easily forget the situation and will
be bitter about it for a long time.

PISCES
The only thing that can be said about you dreamers is that you appear even more attractive when angry. You
are very sensitive to others' feelings, so you rarely hurt them. But when others tend to hurt you, then things
take a nasty turn. You will yell and use harsh words and feel inclined to shake everything and everyone up.
Your creative imagination is at its best when angry, and you tend to get pretty dramatic. When upset, you
refuse to listen to reason and wish to be left alone. But once you calm down, you repent your tantrums and
seek forgiveness. SO nobody can be upset with you for too long.
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