I don't know. Maybe they don't maybe i'm too hard or too responsible for my own good. It's just not a good day for me either way. Mumbling something like this to the public. Ha!
Anyway it's my blog and i'm allowed to write anything in it.
Sometimes i just hope i can left everything and someone will pick it up for me. But alas it's just dream. No one will ever let me be carefree and without burden. There will always something or someone to care and honestly i'm quite tired of it. Sounded selfish but tried to be in my position and you'll agreed that i'm in much overdue need of reprieve.
Through out these years i made quite a fortune but there's always someone to help, something to pay and debts of others i need to pay for. I'm whining after good deeds i know, i know..so shoot me.. i'm allowed to whine..why won't i'm being allowed cause i've done all that with the purest of my heart and never asked to be repaid. But sometimes someone i helped tend to be thinking they are the world and it's my duty to help them without asking anything..not even appreciation and respect..
It's just pisses me off. And every time i need to tell myself that we don't grumble after helping and we certainly doesn't recount each and every bit of it. So here i am grumbling to the world anonymously, i'm being good here since i don't go shrieking to them about all these crap. Now i'm saying it's crap.. how delusional am i..
But i feel a lot better after all these rantings. But i do wish i can just walk away from everything and be irresponsible for once. Regretfully i am not that kind of person so i just have to bare with all this heart ache and hope god take pity on me and pave an easy way for me.
Until then life just goes on and i'm allowed to be angry, swearing and locking my self in a room as long as i keep all these stupid moral responsibilities going on and make other people life easier whilst mine hell..